HustlerWorld Becomes First Website Available On the iPhone
Taking a page from Digital Playground's playbook, we've decided to make an outlandish claim and hope that technological Luddites don't realize we're full of excrement.
So here it is:
Beginning Friday, HustlerWorld will become the first website available for viewing on them shiny new Internet phones that Apple's releasing.
You'll have to wait for every other site to catch up to our almost insurmountable lead. For a site to be viewed on an iPhone, it must utilize an infant technology: HTML. Good luck with that!
"I want to have our news and content on my iPhone," HustlerWorld's handsome, charismatic and debt-free editor said. "We've always been a site that has used technology to experiment with information dissemination. It's something we've always done, so it's just an evolution for HustlerWorld. It's another small step to bring us closer to our loyal readership."
HustlerWorld President, Ivan McIdontunderstandtechnology, is in awe: "I'm so honored to know that HustlerWorld is the first AGAIN. I'd like to thank all of our friends at Apple and Al Gore for their combined efforts to see this through."
All Porn Parties Are Created Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others
We know that the HustlerWorld audience is really big on dystopian literature, so the title of this post won't be lost on our dear readers. With that being said, All Media Play's Freaky Friday Surprise Porn Party is set for tonight. It's being billed as both freaky and a surprise, so you absolutely cannot miss this once-in-a-monthtime event.
"I want everybody to come down and have a great night. If somebody gets laid, that's a bonus," Jeff Mullen, grand poobah of All Media Play, said in a questionably worded press release.
Here are the important details:
Who: You and like a billion porn stars.
What: Freaky Friday Surprise Porn Party
Where: Club Sugar (1716 N. Cahuenga in Hollywood, CA)
When: Tonight, from 10 until 2am
Why: Because All Media Play has it's own definition of "surprise".
For all the crap we give them, All Media Play consistently throws the best adult parties. If you're in the area, you should definitely check it out.
Unfortunately, we won't be able to attend tonight's soiree. Our hair has a date with Alberto VO5 and his hot oil treatment. We tried to reschedule, but that queen gets so bitchy when you cancel last minute.
This video is quite long by Interweb standards—almost seven and a half minutes—but it's more than worth watching. Frank sex talk between mother and daughter has never been this awesome or informative.
Things we learned about the ladies:
If the man ain't comin', he gonna be goin' somewhere else, puttin' his penis in someone else.
A lot of women will laugh and talk about a man if his penis is small.
Just because a man is in love with your vagina doesn't mean he's in love with you.
Dick will make you slap somebody.
The penis is a heat-seeking missile, like a rocket. Information is encoded in it making it do what it do.
Men launch their penis up in the vaginal canal. As a woman relaxes and breathes and sits on that penis and rock and move and rotate and find her rhythm and go up and down and back and forth and around in a circle, she starts getting her groove back. (Editor's Note: So that's how Stella did it!)
When the parts of penis hit them vagina walls, harmonizing and making them sing, a woman feels like she's in church jumping and shouting.
While we were watching The Office...er...uh...we mean totally hardcore, ass-gaping, adult erotica last night, that word popped into our head.
And it's a keeper.
We're going to try and work it into non-porn-related conversations. Not that we ever have any of those, mind you. It's all porn all the time in our home, even when we've got the kids for the weekend. Little HustlerWorld Jr. can piledrive a broad like a seasoned pro...and he's only 18 months! Barely out of diapers and already ladies man. If we could cry—Botox gone wrong, don't ask—it would be enough to bring tears of joy to our eyes.
Anywho...back to the word "whoredrobe". The Urban Dictionary defines it as "the clothes that a whore wears out to do what they do best, pick up STDs." This is a little too mean for our highly progressive outlook on life and doesn't really apply to adult entertainment (Editor's Note: Since no one gets STDs in porn). We're changing it to, "the ridiculous clothing that adult directors and producers often ask their performers to wear believing that guys watching at home think full-body stockings and 6-inch heels are somehow sexy."
Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the News...I've Got A Bad Case of Everything
Last Friday marked an important milestone here at HustlerWorld. It was our 1.5 year anniversary with Hustler, so our benefits finally kicked in. Other than becoming the proud owners of accidental death and dismemberment insurance, we can now afford to visit a doctor. Huzzah!
We were amazed, but we were able to schedule a doctor's visit on almost no notice. Michael Moore may be making a big stink about privatized health care in his film Sicko, but our experience couldn't have been more pleasant. Dr. Acula was the consummate professional. He may have taken a little more blood than we would have liked, but he's the one with the degree from Transylvania State, not us.
We asked for the works and boy did he deliver: Our blood pressure is perfect, although our cholesterol is a tad on the high side. And the doctor gave us a huge compliment about the quality of our blood: "I've never seen anything like it. Ah ah ah."
Following the jump, take a look what was found in our red sauce (plus a bonus discovery!).
Chlamydia
Fun fact: Recent phylogenetic studies have revealed that chlamydia shares a common ancestor with modern plants. The genetic encoding for certain. enzymes is remarkably similar in plants and chlamydia, demonstrating a close common ancestry.
Gonorrhea
Fun fact: Gonorrhea is also commonly known by the slang term "the clap", although the expression's etymology is unknown. Another great term for it is "dripping dick". This mainly because of the discharge coming from the urethral opening of the penis. Awesome!
Syphilis
Fun fact: Syphilis stopped being cool in like 1995. Also, the character of George from Grey's Anatomy got syphilis after sleeping with Nurse Olivia, who got it from sleeping with Alex first. She's a total slut.
Hepatitis B
Fun fact: Hepatitis B usually gets better on its own after a few months (Editor's Note: Woo hoo!). It may, however, cause a more serious chronic infection. (Editor's Note: Fuck!)
Herpes
Fun fact: Celebrities may be immune from justice, but not from the cruel hand of "the herp". Check out these totally unconfirmed Valtrex prescription holders: David Hasselhoff, Bill Clinton, Moby, Tony Bennett, Robin Williams, Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Jason Kidd, Fred Durst, Billy Idol, Colin Farrell, Lauren Hutton, Sheryl Crow, Paris Hilton (duh), Victoria Beckham, Pamela Anderson, Lucie Arnaz, Janet Jackson, Tawny Kitaen, Britney Spears, Katie Holmes, Alyssa Milano, Kristanna Loken
HPV
Fun fact: Although condoms are highly effective for preventing the transmission of other sexually transmitted diseases, recent studies have concluded that condoms only offer partial protection, at best, against the transmission of genital HPVs. So don't wear one.
Pubic Lice
Fun fact: The crab louse can live in almost any form of human hair, but is found most commonly in pubic hair, leading to its other common name of "pubic louse". We named this little bugger "Amanda" after one of our favorite actresses, the lovely Ms. Peet.
We might have left the doctor's office with a stack of prescriptions, but now that we have insurance, that doesn't matter! We can afford each and every one of them. We're actually looking forward to getting sick these days, just so we can make use of our low, low deductible.
We don't know what type of dictionary the folks over at All Media Play are using, but it must consist solely of incorrect definitions written in crayon on construction paper. We can also imagine that AMP's Abridged Dictionary doesn't shy away from liberal amounts of "Hello Kitty" stickers and glitter. That's the only reason we can think of for the billing of this week's "Freaky Friday" porn party as a surprise. Cluing us in a full week in advance pretty much negates any feelings of unexpectedness we may have had.
But whatever, a party's a party and the shindigs that All Media Play throws are always pretty badass. This one's open to les public, so we encourage you to check it out.
Read the full release (Editor's Note: Unfortunately, there is no massage) after the jump.
The first night of Erotica LA will be capped off with a Freaky Friday Surprise Porn Party Friday, June 22nd as the most exciting names in adult entertainment will walk the red carpet and party away inside the brand new club Sugar in Hollywood. You are invited!
The party kicks off at 10PM lasting until 2AM and is sponsored by SexZ Pictures, Adam & Eve, The Fame Awards, Wanted List, Genesis Magazine, Adultvest, X-Play, Intoxicate U, Red Light District Cabaret Productions and All Media Play making this the hot spot of the early summer.
"This will be an insane bash because it's the first night of the Erotica LA convention and everybody's in town plus our friends from the Fame Awards are coming down with tons of porn stars, directors and producers so we had to throw a party," said Scott David of All Media Play/X-Play.
Over 100 hundred sexy stars and cute wannabees are expected to make the scene including SexZ Pictures contract girls Hillary Scott & Paulina James plus Jenna Haze, Alexis Amore, Sunny Lane, Eva Angelina, Shy Love, Nikki Benz, Brook Haven, Gwen Diamond, Renae Cruz and countless others but the biggest surprise of the evening will take place inside the club.
"Hey, it's the first ever surprise porn party on a grand scale," said Jeff Mullen of All Media Play which is co-organizing the event with Intoxicate U. "People were asking us where our party was so we decided to throw a surprise porn party."
"Nobody throws a party like SexZ Pictures, All Media Play, Intoxicate U. I'm not missing it, plus I'll be in the mood for a great night with it being Erotica LA and the Fame Awards the next night and with Genesis Magazine in the house, it's gonna be a wild Friday night," said superstar Sunny Lane.
The party will feature a special red carpet entry way for members of the adult entertainment industry with a "no bullshit" entrance policy. "If you're a member of the adult industry, you can get in through this special entrance with no hassles and that's guaranteed," Brad Thomas of Intoxicate U remarked.
Don't miss the Freaky Friday Surprise Porn Party this Friday, June 22nd starting at 10PM at Sugar located at 1716 N. Cahuenga in Hollywood 90028.
***We would have tried to get to the bottom of this word-choice nonsense by giving the man in charge over there a phone call, but we were afraid we would interrupt one of his famous lunches at any of the posh eateries found on Melrose Ave.
We would have made mention of "Father's Day" last week, but it totally slipped our mind. So, to all the father's out there, up there or down there, Hustler Video's got some great releases this week. Check 'em out...
Barely Legal Corrupted 8
Stars: Lela Star, Ryaan Reynolds, Carmen Kinsley, Sierra Sinn & Celina Cross
DVD Includes: Behind the Scenes, Hot Sex Talk, Hot HUSTLER Trailers, Photo Slideshow, Animated Chapter Index
Director: Van "That Valtrex Prescription is NOT Mine" Styles
Celebrities come out to play in LFP's newest release, eXXXtra eXXXtra! Of course, these celebrities don't pretend to be shocked when their private parts are splayed across every Web site known to man.
Produced by Egoist Entertainment, eXXXtra eXXXtra is the first of four new titles to be distributed by LFP Video Group. The two companies recently signed a one-year deal that gives exclusive worldwide DVD distribution rights to LFP.
A spoof on the nightly entertainment tabloid shows, eXXXtra eXXXtra stars Nikki Benz, Sunny Lane, Audrey Hollander and Lexi Love. This fun, but oh-so-dirty, look at the lives of the rich and famous takes the viewers to the land of threesomes, girl-orgies and anal lovin'.
One not-to-be-missed scene involves the striking Lindsay Loin (Hollander) getting her sushi fix at a hot restaurant and getting her anal fix by hooking up with the busboy (Otto Bauer). The two hump-hungry hotties go at it until they are both drained of all their fuck juices. Another steamy scene stars K-Bed (James Deen), his wife Britney (Love) and one very desperate groupie (Rachel Roxxx). The three engage in such intense sexin' that it truly gives one hope that these kids can make it work!
eXXXtra eXXXtra is directed by Jennifer James and is in stores now!
Adultcon 12 will be featured on the HD Network show, Deadline. The program was shot live at the last Adultcon in March in true high definition. Air times are 5:30 and 9 p.m. (PST), with re-airs on Saturday.
The Adultcon Convention is held twice a year in Los Angeles, the next taking place September 21-23 at the L.A. Convention Center.
The Adultcon Awards, a yearly celebration of achievement in adult film, arts and entertainment, was recently held in Hollywood.
Hey girls! Do you like lingerie? What about sexy swimsuits? Shoes? Of course you do! You're girls! Then just imagine the super-awesome good time you'll have at Hustler Hollywood Tempe's "Ladies Night". They'll be a complimentary VIP reception from 5:30pm-7pm, prize and giveaways all night long and you'll get to see the newest and hottest Hustler has to offer.
There's also a special educational and instructional seminar.
Special guests include: Sport Sheets, California Exotics, Kama Sutra, Pjur, Lover's Choice, Nookie and Electric Lingerie/Hustler Lingerie.
And best of all, it's a womyn-only event. Finally, you can drink your cosmos and talk about how disappointing your husbands are in peace.
Hustler Hollywood Tempe is located at 1628 E. Broadway Road. - Tempe, AZ. For more information, call (480) 829-1269 or visit the store's site on MySpace.
We're usually not fans of Celine Dion 'round these parts (Editor's Note: Liar!), but taken in the context of this video, she makes total sense. We've already booked our trip to Vegas. We're gonna try and catch one of her last shows at Caesar's Palace.
We now present: Animals Masturbating to Celine Dion
We are in no way condoning bestiality—man on beast action ain't our thang. Beast on his/herself action, however, totally cool.
PS - We can't tell if that headline is as clever as we think it is or we're just woozy from the "Master Cleanse".
Well, according the the Iranian parliament they are. As CNN reports, the country's governing body approved that "producers of pornographic works and main elements in their production are considered corruptors of the world and could be sentenced to punishment as corruptors of the world."
The term "corruptor of the world" is taken from the Koran where it is considered to be the most heinous of individual criminal offenses. Because the Iranian government is so awesome, this particular crime is punishable by death. Who would of thought that filming 3 people in consensual, double-anal sex would have anything to do with the erosion of global values?
We don't want to live in a world where those responsible for creating titles like Cum Junkies Like Cock, Do Me Right, White Boy #18, and The Gapes of Wrath can be punished with the ol' noose.
But then we remember we don't live in that world. We have color television, paved roads, and personal hygiene. They have lashings, extremism, and diarrhea inducing cuisine.
There are things in life that are so out-of-control, so breathtakingly wicked, that they are indeed too good. A person unaccustomed to such nasty intensity is at risk for stroke, high blood pressure and chafing. For these reasons we here at HUSTLER opted to wait several months in between Ghetto Booty releases.
Fortunately, we are a stronger, more vibrant nation now, and thus ready to fully appreciate the freaky jewel that is Ghetto Booty 27. In stores today, Ghetto Booty 27 stars the phenomenally thick-assed Taquila, Misti Love, Danni Dior, Havannah and Anjah. These heart-stopping ladies love putting their booties in the air, slurping on chocolaty cock and getting pounded by big, thick dick.
Directed by D. Sparky, Ghetto Booty 27 gives you hardcore divas who love it gangsta style. One standout scene involves the luscious, dark-skinned Taquila and her huge, bouncy ass. Taquila starts with a little dance followed by a $100 blowjob to her fuck-buddy Rock, and then the two engage in some of the most inspired fucking ever to be seen on camera. Another not-to-be-missed scene features the gorgeous, light-skinned Misti Love and her partner Nat Turnher. Misti twists and turns in a variety of nasty positions and then ends the screw session with a love facial.
Jeff Hawkins, a 30-year veteran at LFP, Inc. and most recently Senior Vice-President of LFP Video Group, LLC is relocating to Krefeld, Germany, to become CEO of LFP's newest entity, HUSTLER EUROPE.
"Mr. Flynt has given me a wonderful opportunity to build a business from the ground up in an area with limitless potential," says Hawkins. "I am thrilled to be a part of this new LFP venture."
The HUSTLER EUROPE operation is responsible for distributing HUSTLER Video, VCA Pictures and LFP Distribution titles throughout the European Union. Hawkins will be working with Managing Director Helen Clyne.
"Jeff has a long history with LFP and understands the European market," says HUSTLER Founder Larry Flynt. "I am pleased he accepted the position and am confident that he will make HUSTLER EUROPE a success."
Last week, Vivid's release concerning Savanna Sampson's political ideologies got us thinking. What do other members of the adult industry think about the upcoming election? So, we did what any fake journalist would do...we turned to MySpace.
In a grossly informal poll, we asked about 50 members of the industry (directors, reviewers, performers, etc.) their thoughts on the current crop of presidential hopefuls. We received 12 responses and made up one (take a guess which one). While this may seem like a woefully low number, keep in mind that the average voter turnout for presidential primaries is only slightly above 7%. What we're saying is that we totally crushed the mainstream electorate on this one.
Take a look at the responses and why our love for Will Ryder grows stronger and stronger every day...
Shay Laren (performer)
"Obama...The number one reason is that he famously opposed the Iraq invasion. Other than that, he's right on the issues. He's political tone is refreshing."
Angie Savage (performer, HW Crush Object)
"Hillary Clinton. Lets get a bitch in the office."
"I would say at this point it would a dead heat between Rudy and Obama. Serious questions remain (for me) about Rudy Re: Porn and Obama about his recent pledge to raise the self-employment tax. Since both apply to me, I'm nervous. "
Casey Parker (performer)
"Well, I really wish Al Gore would run...he has done so much already. I would totally vote for him. But right now, I like Obama. I still have to see more of Hillary so I can make up my mind..."
Ron Jeremy (performer, hedgehog personifier)
"Clinton, we love Clinton. She represents the issues at hand and has the backing of a winner in many areas from past track record."
Charlie Laine (performer, HW Crush Object #2)
"Hilary Clinton, because we've had a bunch a pussies as presidents... might as well have a vagina."
Gianna Lynn (performer)
"I support former Senator Mike Gravel's issues. I like his proposition of a fair tax (one of the new features of that tax is getting reimbursed for the taxes we spend on essentials). That would definitely help people with lower income. And I also like how he supports same-sex marriage and is opposed to the Defense of Marriage Act. He also understands the importance of proper funding for education for our youth.
"Hopefully, he will make a difference."
Van Styles (director, ladies man, former pro-athlete)
"You'll make fun of me, so I'm not answering. I like the rap music."
Eva Angelina (performer)
"I am hoping for Hillary Clinton because I think its time for America to have a female president. Think how America's women would feel to know that a woman is running our country. Women would be more empowered and create higher goals in life because this is the time of true equal opportunity."
"She's worked hard for her status and now it's time to pay off and give this country a female point of view on how we need to deal with problems this country is faced with."
Courtney Cummz (performer, girl power enthusiast)
"Mine is Hillary Clinton! Girl power!"
Octavio Winkytiki (director, photographer)
"It's like asking a guy about to be executed what kinda bullet he prefers...
"How about Constitutional Party candidate, Dale Thompson, from The Christian metal band, Bride? I figure at least by having a rock musician in office, he'd give the nation's strippers ,pornstars and drug dealers a bit of slack since they've been the financial backbone of the music industry from day one.
"Chances are, gas prices will go down too since filling up the ol' tour van is starting to get expensive. You gotta keep touring man!"
Valentina Vaughn (performer)
"I have no answer...I'm sure the next candidate we elect will publicly fix one problem and then create many more."
Will Ryder (producer, award-winning director, man about town)
"I'd like to see somebody that has no history in politics get elected although out of the group they have running I could see Tommy Thompson or Guiliani as possibilities. I think that Larry Flynt would have made a great president because he likes to cut through the bullshit quickly and he believes in the principals that were used to found this country. I think he calls a spade a spade and tells it like it really is which is totally refreshing but of course that would be political suicide. The people that read his editorials each month in Hustler Magazine know what I'm talking about.
"However, since he's not running, maybe we could get Britney Rears to run for President or since Hillary Scott plays the role of Britney Rears in the movies, I could just imagine the bumper stickers that would say 'Vote Hillary for President cuz Britney will blow ya'. The truth is that I really don't like any of the candidates all that much because they are quite boring and unoriginal with the possible exception of Barack Obama but do you think America is ready to vote for a name like that no matter how good he might be? Nobody though can be any worse then what's in the Oval Office now."
If you weren't one of the hundred or so people that showed up for the first annual Adultcon Awards, we're doing you a solid and providing the list of winners. That way, the next time you're gathered around the table enjoying a nice family dinner, you'll be able to answer little Timmy when he asks, "Hey Dad, who won the Best Actress, Anal Performance title at the Adultcon Awards in 2007?"
It's all about family values here at HustlerWorld. And sodomy. Can't forget the sodomy.
The complete list of winners is available...after les jump—that's French for "after the jump".
Lifetime Achievement Award: Larry Flynt
Mainstream Crossover Star of the Year: Tera Patrick
Visionary of the Year: Jay Grdina
Best Actress, Anal/Vaginal Performance: Hillary Scott, Corruption (SexZ Pictures)
Best Actress, Self-Pleasure Performance: Courtney Cummz, All Alone (Zero Tolerance)
Best Actress, Anal Performance: Mia Rose, Own My Ass (Evil Angel)
Best Actress, Oral Performance on a Woman: Liv Wylder, Courtney's Pussycats (Zero Tolerance)
Best Actress, Intercourse Performance: Sunny Lane, Slut Puppies (Jules Jordan Video)
Best Actress, Oral Performance on a Man: Cindy Crawford, Driven (Wicked Pictures)
Best Actor, Intercourse Performance: Randy Spears, Lady of the Evening (Wicked Pictures)
Best Actor, Anal Performance: Travis Knight, Top Notch Bitches 2 (Gina Lynn Productions)
Best Actor, Oral Performance: Jack Lawrence, Chemistry (Vivid Entertainment Group)
You would think that with all that money, a life of leisure and a dearth of any real responsibility, Ms. Hilton could have made some decisions that would have saved her (and ourselves, really) from the media embarrassment she now faces.
But alas, the Valtrex must have rotted her brain. She now sits alone, sobbing, marking off days on her jail cell wall a la The Shawshank Redemption. Will the world be a better place when she's finally released? Probably not. Will Hustler Video have released 4 new titles? Absolutely.
She'll have some catching up to do if she's expecting to stay abreast of the video group's release schedule, but we have a feeling she's up to the challenge. She has found God and all.
Larry Flynt to Receive Adultcon Lifetime Achievement Award
Larry Flynt will be presented with the first annual Adultcon Lifetime Achievement Award this Saturday, June 9. The award honors Flynt's accomplishments in the adult industry as well as his tireless support of First Amendment rights.
"Without him, there wouldn't be an adult industry," says event organizer/Vice-President, Live Entertainment, Renaud West. "It was appropriate he be honored."
Billed as "The adult industry equivalent of the Oscars," the Live Entertainment-produced event will be held at the Key Club in West Hollywood, California.
Flynt, who just recently offered a million dollars to anyone who can provide documentation that they have had "illicit sexual or intimate relations with a Congressperson, Senator or other prominent officeholder" is proud of the award. "I'm honored to be recognized for my achievements," says Flynt.
We think it's the 10th anniversary of P.T. Anderson's Boogie Nights or something, so we wanted to share this mashup. It features Luke Skywalker as an intergalatic Dirk Diggler. Good stuff.
If you feel like braving the banner ad ghetto that is XFanz.com, they've been running a series to celebrate one of P.T. Anderson's finest films. Check it out here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.
In case you were unaware, as were we, the 7th anniversary is traditionally the "wool" anniversary. Some also refer to the seventh year as the "copper" anniversary as the metal is often associated with prosperity, good luck and good fortune.
It makes sense that the HUSTLER Casino in Gardena, CA, is celebrating it's seventh year of operation by giving players the opportunity to get lucky.
On June 23rd and 24th, from 2pm until midight, the HUSTLER Casino will be having gift giveaways every other hour. Prizes include $777 in cash, designer T-shirts, mugs and hats.
Make sure you arrive early to gain every opportunity to get in on the free stuff action.
Adultcon Adult Convention is set to host its first ever awards show at the Key Club tomorrow, Saturday, June 9, 2007, to celebrate and honor outstanding achievement in adult film, arts and entertainment.
The first red carpet arrivals are from 7pm-8pm for the nominees, voters & invited guests. The second one is from 9:30pm-10:30pm for those attending the post-party which starts after the award show at the Key Club.
In addition to the 12 categories voted on by the adult community, several industry notables will be honored for their outstanding accomplishments. Tera Patrick will be accepting the "MAINSTREAM CROSS-OVER STAR OF THE YEAR”"award. Jay Grdina (Editor's Note: That spelling always bothers us.), Club Jenna's CEO, is accepting the "VISIONARY OF THE YEAR AWARD". And last, but certainly not least, Larry Flynt will be honored with Adultcon's "LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT" award for the impact he's made and continues to make upon the adult entertainment industry.
Take a look at the rest of the award categories after the jump.
Tera Patrick, Star of inTERActive, Feature Dancing
One half of "porn's royal couple" (according the the LA Daily News) is scheduled to appear throughout Southern California this weekend. That's right, Evan Seinfeld's wife will be treating fans to several all-nude (that means butt-ass neked) performances over the next few days.
The Biohazard frontman's paramour's only break from performing will be the Adultcon Awards, where she'll be accepting the award for "Mainstream Crossover Star of the Year".
Don't miss your chance to see one of the biggest stars of the industry up-close and personally.
Thursday
11pm at the Spearmint Rhino in Santa Barbara, CA (one show only)
Friday
12am at the Spearmint Rhino in Santa Barbara, CA (one show only)
Saturday
Adultcon Awards
11pm at the Spearmint Rhino in Oxnard, CA (one show only)
To give you an idea of what to expect from her performances, check out the trailer for inTERActive. It's after the jump.
The response to Larry Flynt's reward for any information pertaining to the illicit affairs of Congressmen and other high-ranking political officials has been overwhelming. He'll be appearing on several more programs to discuss what he hopes to accomplish with his offer.
Your World With Neil Cavuto
Thursday, June 7 at 1pm on Fox News.
The Adam Carolla Radio Show
Friday, June 8 at 9am on LA's Free FM (97.1)
The Henry Rollings Show
Friday, July 7 at 8pm on the Independent Film Channel.
(The reward offer isn't the sole reason for his appearance on the former Black Flag singer's show, but we imagine it'll come up).
On the Media
Sunday, June 10, at 6pm on National Public Radio.
Live With Patt Morrison
Tuesday, June 12 at 2pm on National Public Radio.
Make sure you tune in. NPR will finally be interesting!
Joanna Angel will be speaking at the Cybernet Expo in Tampa Bay on Friday, June 8th. Joanna will be speaking on the "Sologirl Sites and Content Production: Creation and Operation Panel" at the Expo. The Panel will take place from3:00pm to 4:15pm.
It's arguable that sologirl sites, when done correctly, can be the most rewarding and profitable venture in the biz, and when done incorrectly, can be the biggest liability and nightmare. Joanna and company will also be discussing shooting and acquiring content. The panel will be moderated by LAJ (YNOT) and will also include Kevin (MediumPimpin), DirtyD (HowIGotRich), Dan (CamZ), and Dave Cummings.
The Cybernet Expo, an adult webmaster trade show, is held at the Tampa Hilton Westshore Hotel. This affordable event is great for business and networking, with a slew of seminars from people from all facets of the industry.
Joanna is excited to speak at the expo. "My solo girl site (JoannaAngel.com) launched just a few months ago... so I'm incredibly flattered that after such a short amount of time I'm asked to speak on this topic."
We're huge fans of Digital Playground here at HW HQ. We like pretty girls and comedy and that's what DP features in every title they release, especially their Jack's ___________ series. Their BTS clips alone are usually worth your hard-earned money.
Check out the most recent trailer for Jack's POV 6. It's pretty standard stuff (albeit Shay Jordan is insanely gorgeous) as far as trailers go until they reach the part featuring Shy Love. If you know anything about Shy at all, you'll understand why we find this so incredibly funny. It's kind of a cheap shot and we're pretty amazed at the ballsiness of including it, but we're happy they did.
And if you're interested in purchasing this fine title, you might consider stopping by HustlerHollywood. It's $5 cheaper there than on DP's site. Why? Because we care.
This revelation comes in the first paragraph of Johnny Knoxville's forward to Chris Nieratko's collection of porn reviews/personal stories, Skinema. Calling someone an "asshole" is pretty bold, but Nieratko relishes the label. He is an asshole. In fact, that's pretty much the running theme of the book. Sure, the overconsumption of booze, pills and powders, womanizing and fighting all figure heavily into his story, but the sum total of these parts leaves the reader with one impression: dude's a Grade A douchebag.
Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. For all of Chris's faults—which he'll readily admit are many—his brand of nihilism is pretty fucking funny. We burned through the former Big Brother editor's book in a couple of nights hoping that the next review/story would top the last. For the most part, they always did.
To properly review the work, we figured it only fitting to do so in the same style Chris uses. A style that can best be summarized by Niertko himself:
"Like everything in my life, my writing has always revolved around me, me, me. Reason being: I am infinitely more interesting than nearly any subject matter I've ever covered."
We now present our review of Skinema. We'll be using the first-person, so don't be frightened when you encounter "I" instead of "we".
I had every intention of not reading this book. I can only take so much porn in my life. And that's actual, you know, porn porn. This was a book about porn. That ranks it right up there with Ann Coulter's Treason and religious genocide.
Some people think working in the smut business would be the best thing ever. I'll be the first to tell you that those people are stupid. It's conceptually similar to having an insanely hot girlfriend. An old boss once to me, "No matter how hot you think a girl is, her boyfriend's probably tired of fucking her." The minute you have unfettered access to the thing you most crave, the appeal has been lost. Same idea goes for porn.
I can't tell you how many times I've been unable to watch a scene because we know the dude, the girl or the director. One minute, I'm thinking, "She's fucking hot. I'm psyched to watch her make love with someone for money," and the next it's, "Is that Van Style's fucking hand? Goddamn it, Van. Stop talking and get your hand out of the shot. It's creeping me out."
That's why I use only the finest in Sears catalogs when I'm making love to myself. There's no chance that I'll encounter the familiar: some girl I know gossip about, some dude I can't stand or some semen-stained couch that I've unknowingly sat upon.
I've come to realize that ignorance equals bliss. Without a doubt, stupid people are generally happier. Look at how excited the retarded are about everything. They're all "hot fudge sundae!" and "I won a gold medal!" and don't care that they look like Rosie O'Donnell. The last time I was that psyched about life I was floating in amniotic fluid.
Don't get me wrong, my job has insanely awesome moments. But it is still a job. Working in porn is not the constant stream of fellatio and naked ladies that people outside the industry think it is. I wake up every morning wishing I could sleep until noon. I get into passive-aggressive E-mail exchanges with co-workers. I hate my health insurance.
I just happen to work in an office where E-mail forwards usually contain a picture of a 70-year-old grandpa taking a dump on his wife's chest.
Skinema is out now from Vice and available in bookstores everywhere. You can also pick up a copy by clicking here.
Every now and again we receive a press release so asinine that we can't help but laugh. Today's come compliments of Vivid and Savanna Sampson. We're big fans of both the company and the star (her wine is fantastic), so it's not that we are looking for an excuse to criticize. It's just hard to fathom why Vivid would promote an interview where Ms. Sampson admits that she supports RUDOLPH fucking GIUILIANI in his run for presidency. The interview is actually a pretty decent read, but when Savana starts spelling out her politics, we smacked our head on our desk and said "no mas":
"I think Giuliani would confront the country's fear of terrorism. I think if any one can do it, he can."
Giuliani doesn't have the intellectual curiosity or wherewithal to do any such thing. He's a fear monger in the George W. Bush sense, the worst possible sense. He honestly believes that we were attacked on 9/11 because terrorists hate freedom and liberty. He doesn't believe our nation holds any culpability. During his presidential campaign effort, he's used the tragic event to capitalize on the fear and ignorance of the American public.
At a recent Republican debate, fellow presidential hopeful, Ron Paul, rightly took issue with this notion. Mr. Paul had the audacity to say that maybe American foreign policy had something to do with why we were attacked in 2001. And get this: When Giuliani asked him to apologize for being so bold as to think our actions pissed off another part of the world the audience actually applauded.
Ugh.
We're not saying that porn stars shouldn't be allowed to express their opinions freely. The fact that Savanna has an opinion about politics at all speaks volumes about her. We're just saying that maybe Vivid should think twice about publicizing the worst part of what really is a solid interview.
Also, Savanna should think about maybe supporting a candidate that isn't George W. with a New York accent.
The title of this entry is a little misleading. You might think that Hustler Video has combined Barely Legal and Asian Fever and created a hybrid more powerful than the world of porn has ever seen. But alas, they have not crossed streams. Sorry to get your hopes up.
Until science has progressed to the point where this genre-mixing is possible, you must make due with new Barely Legal and Asian Fever titles. We have a feeling you'll be able to manage.
Enjoy!
Barely Legal #71
Stars: Tiffany Brookes, Crissy Moon, Micah May, Jenni Lee & Christine Alexis
DVD Includes: Behind the Scenes, Hot Sex Talk, Hot HUSTLER Trailers, Photo Slideshow, Animated Chapter Index
Director: Erica McLean
Asian Fever #32
Stars: Kea Kulani, Mika Tan, Lielani, Nadi Phuket, Kyanna Lee & Kiwi Ling
DVD Includes: Behind the Scenes, Hot Sex Talk, Hot HUSTLER Trailers, Photo Slideshow, Animated Chapter Index
Our boss has caused quite a stir with the ad he ran in the Washington Post last weekend. When CNN decides to cover a move made by the legendary pornographer, it's kind of a big deal. Check out Wolf Blitzer discussing Larry's offer...
In a completely unrelated note, during our college years in DC we had gotten very drunk with our friends and heckled the piss out of Wolf when we came across him doing a live shot in front of the White House. It got to the point where we had half of the gawking crowd screaming "Wolf Blitzer!" and the other half responding with "Made up his name!"
Hot on the heels of his most recent foray into the world of radio and cable news, Larry Flynt is once again taking to the airwaves.
Mr. Flynt will be making appearances on both The Daily Show With Jon Stewart and Hardball With Chris Matthews to discuss the ad that ran in the Washington Post this past weekend. Make sure to tune in.
If you've neither heard about nor played with Google Maps' new "Street View" function, you are missing out on what could possibly be the very reason the Internet was invented.
A little background: Google has been sending cars with specially equipped 360° cameras mounted on their roofs to systematically take pictures of cities around the United States. They've integrated these photos with their map feature and created a navigable environment where one can "walk" down streets.
Describing this new feature completely pales to seeing it in action for yourself, so we'll stop.
While some people are understandably upset about the privacy issues this raises, we're just psyched we've found yet another way to avoid doing work. If you find anything else noteworthy, feel free to let us know at Info@HustlerWorld.com.
We don't like to advocate the use of condoms...they're uncomfortable, smelly and hurt the abortion industry's bottom line. But we must give credit to Durex for dropping one of the most amusing Father's Day (let alone condom) ads we've come across.
The newspaper isn't actually, ya know, performing in movies or anything. That would be just plain silly. And weird. And a stupid joke. The not-LA Times is covering the industry in a 6-part series called "Exposed: Porn In The Valley". Each section discusses a particular facet (history, health, finance, etc.) of the 90 trillion-dollar-a-year business.
We're kinda stoked they didn't call the series "eXXXposed".
The whole thing is nothing special, but it's worth a read. Think of it like a college survey class: useless fodder for cocktail parties without any real analysis or insight.
(The rest of the package isn't supposed to be made available until later in the week, but because we're so brilliant we figured out a way around this.)
Larry Flynt and HUSTLER Offer a Million Dollar Reward
Over the weekend, Larry Flynt and HUSTLER Magazine ran an ad in the Washington Post offering a reward to anyone who can provide documented evidence of "improper relations" involving any high-ranking political official. You can check out the advertisement in its entirety after the jump.
And in case you're unable to read the disclaimer: "Publication of submitted material is to be determined by HUSTLER and its sole discretion. The amount and terms of payment are subject to actual usage by HUSTLER and mutual agreement prior to publication."
Taking a page from Digital Playground's playbook, we've decided to make an outlandish claim and hope that technological Luddites don't realize we're full of excrement. 
While we were watching The Office...er...uh...we mean totally hardcore, ass-gaping, adult erotica last night, that word popped into our head. 
Last Friday marked an important milestone here at HustlerWorld. It was our 1.5 year anniversary with Hustler, so our benefits finally kicked in. Other than becoming the proud owners of accidental death and dismemberment insurance, we can now afford to visit a doctor. Huzzah!
Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
Syphilis
Hepatitis B
Herpes
HPV
Pubic Lice
We don't know what type of dictionary the folks over at All Media Play are using, but it must consist solely of incorrect definitions written in crayon on construction paper. We can also imagine that AMP's Abridged Dictionary doesn't shy away from liberal amounts of "Hello Kitty" stickers and glitter. That's the only reason we can think of for the billing of this week's "Freaky Friday" porn party as a surprise. Cluing us in a full week in advance pretty much negates any feelings of unexpectedness we may have had. 
Barely Legal Corrupted 8
Cum Stain Girls
Celebrities come out to play in LFP's newest release, eXXXtra eXXXtra! Of course, these celebrities don't pretend to be shocked when their private parts are splayed across every Web site known to man.
Adultcon 12 will be featured on the HD Network show, Deadline. The program was shot live at the last Adultcon in March in true high definition. Air times are 5:30 and 9 p.m. (PST), with re-airs on Saturday. 
Hey girls! Do you like lingerie? What about sexy swimsuits? Shoes? Of course you do! You're girls! Then just imagine the super-awesome good time you'll have at Hustler Hollywood Tempe's "Ladies Night". They'll be a complimentary VIP reception from 5:30pm-7pm, prize and giveaways all night long and you'll get to see the newest and hottest Hustler has to offer.
Well, according the the Iranian parliament they are. As CNN 
There are things in life that are so out-of-control, so breathtakingly wicked, that they are indeed too good. A person unaccustomed to such nasty intensity is at risk for stroke, high blood pressure and chafing. For these reasons we here at HUSTLER opted to wait several months in between Ghetto Booty releases.
Jeff Hawkins, a 30-year veteran at LFP, Inc. and most recently Senior Vice-President of LFP Video Group, LLC is relocating to Krefeld, Germany, to become CEO of LFP's newest entity, HUSTLER EUROPE. 
Last week, Vivid's 
Open Up And Say Ahhh
Barely Legal Little Panty Fuck Fest
Goin' Solo
Larry Flynt will be presented with the first annual Adultcon Lifetime Achievement Award this Saturday, June 9. The award honors Flynt's accomplishments in the adult industry as well as his tireless support of First Amendment rights.
In case you were unaware, as were we, the 7th anniversary is traditionally the "wool" anniversary. Some also refer to the seventh year as the "copper" anniversary as the metal is often associated with prosperity, good luck and good fortune.
Adultcon Adult Convention is set to host its first ever awards show at the Key Club tomorrow, Saturday, June 9, 2007, to celebrate and honor outstanding achievement in adult film, arts and entertainment.
One half of "porn's royal couple" (according the the LA Daily News) is scheduled to appear throughout Southern California this weekend. That's right, Evan Seinfeld's wife will be treating fans to several all-nude (that means butt-ass neked) performances over the next few days. 
Joanna Angel will be speaking at the Cybernet Expo in Tampa Bay on Friday, June 8th. Joanna will be speaking on the "Sologirl Sites and Content Production: Creation and Operation Panel" at the Expo. The Panel will take place from3:00pm to 4:15pm.
We're huge fans of Digital Playground here at HW HQ. We like pretty girls and comedy and that's what DP features in every title they release, especially their Jack's ___________ series. Their BTS clips alone are usually worth your hard-earned money. 
"Chris is, simply put, an asshole." 
.
Every now and again we receive a press release so asinine that we can't help but laugh. Today's come compliments of Vivid and Savanna Sampson. We're big fans of both the company and the star (her wine is fantastic), so it's not that we are looking for an excuse to criticize. It's just hard to fathom why Vivid would promote 
Barely Legal #71
Asian Fever #32
If you've neither heard about nor played with Google Maps' new "Street View" function, you are missing out on what could possibly be the very reason the Internet was invented.
The newspaper isn't actually, ya know, performing in movies or anything. That would be just plain silly. And weird. And a stupid joke. The not-LA Times is covering the industry in a 6-part series called "Exposed: Porn In The Valley". Each section discusses a particular facet (history, health, finance, etc.) of the 90 trillion-dollar-a-year business. 
