It's that time of year again. The leaves are falling, trout are spawning, and I get sick on candy while watching It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Halloween is right around the corner so we dipped into the archives here at Hustler World Head Quarters and compiled our top 5 favorite Halloween-themed porno's.

1. VAMPIRASS

Filmed in the halcyon days of 1993 when bushes were full, boobs were mostly real, and special effects in a pornos meant having a fog machine in the room; Vampirass doesn't hold all its charm in the witty title. What makes this video great is the plot. A lowly yet hyper-sexual real estate agent is trying to sell a mansion to some of her friends. After some sexual antics with a mulleted bodyguard, a "ball-draining 3-way", and some black-magic gone wrong, these ladies are unwittingly turned into vampires.

I recommend this movie to anybody who likes sex, vampires, or real estate.

2. GHOULS GONE WILD

I like the idea of this movie. Ghouls Gone Wild? I imagine a band of ghoulish sex fiends who flash their tits for cheap trucker hats in a bus parked outside the local pool hall before devouring the hapless camera-men. After this, these ghoulish sex fiends have to grapple with the psychological damage when they see their goodies being flashed all over late night cable television.

Instead we get a borderline gonzo where the girls are inexplicitly wearing Mad Max style make up and looked like just came from a shopping spree at Hot Topic. The constant techno soundtrack could confuse one to think that they are in a mid-80s rave not a late 00's porno. The saving grace of this rave/goth/mad max/ porno noir is when a mohawked Kimberly Kane gets fucked in a "grave yard" which is obviously someone's backyard. Why is this the saving grace? Because Kimberly Kane is hot as hell.

I recommend this movie for anybody who likes Mad Max, Kimberly Kane, or raves.

3. EJACULA

Thoughts while watching Ejacula.

"Ron Jeremy plays a dirty homeless hunchback? Best casting ever!"

"Wait, so this vampire goes from sucking the dudes blood to sucking his cock? I need a little more character development here."

"They say this was shot on location in Europe. I wonder if by Europe they mean Chatsworth."

"Where did these blond chicks come from? Is this a scheduled orgy, or is it supposed to be spontaneous? I probably shouldn’t be asking these questions at this point."

"These German guys have awesome perms."

"Vampire lesbians: YES!"

"Are they playing Elton John in the background while they are having sex in a coffin?"

I recommend this movie for anybody who likes vampires, jerking-off vampires, or vampire orgies.

4. EJACULA 2

Yes, the first was so good it warranted a sequel. Looking at the box cover I’m happy to see that the stellar cast from the first movie was able to come back, but now there is some sort of panther in the mix. While the first Ejacula could be subtitled "Ejacula fucks a bunch of chicks", Ejacula 2 could be subtitled "Ejacula wants to bang a virgin". That's right, a quest through Europe to find a virgin to deflower. I have a sneaking suspension that nobody in this movie is a virgin, except maybe one of the boom-mic guys.

I recommend this movie for anybody who likes Ron Jeremy, tanned vampires, or strudel.

5. BLOOD LAKE

With a name like Blood Lake you know it's going to be fucking metal. This is essentially a cheap slasher flick with a lot of hardcore pornography thrown in for good measure. If you haven't guessed the plot already, it goes a little something like this: A bunch of couples go camping in the woods that are totally haunted. After having sex they hear and noise and then wham, one by one they're knocked off. Classic horror plot being driven into the ground. Why can't people learn; after you've just jizzed on your partners face and hear a noise outside, don't go out there! I know whenever I'm having sex in a secluded wooden cabin and hear a noise, I don't move an inch. If the girl begs to know what the noise is, I tell her to go check it out while I close my eyes and sing the chorus to Ragtime Gal until I think it's safe. If she doesn't come back I just watch re-runs of Cheaters and drink High Balls till I pass out.

I recommend this movie for anybody who likes camping, pierced nipples, or lakes.

I can't forget about This Ain't the Munsters XXX, which you can watch on HUSTLER.com right now. Totally Halloween worthy, but because it is so new I don't know if stands the test of time. We'll see if it makes next years list next to the movies I'm currently producing: Sexlevania, Whoreraiser, and Night of the Living Sluts.