Pirates Cast Please their fans
"Please, squeeze my boob!" said Jesse Jane to one lucky fan.
This statement pretty much sums up the night. As there was a huge amount of raunchy behavior when the cast of Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge appeared at Hustler Hollywood in Los Angeles last night to meet their fans.
"I'm really happy to be seeing all the fans at this great Hustler Hollywood store" said Jenna Haze very diplomatically before she grabbed the microphone and tried to rile up the crowd by exclaiming "Who here is HORNY? I know I am." Unfortunately the crowd was really sedate and didn't respond at all. It always amazes me how meek a crowd can be at these sorts of things. Come on, you're here to meet porn stars! They take things into their orifices just to titillate you. They aren't shy people, so why are you! Since Jenna was unable to get a reaction out of the crowd; I jumped up on the table and shouted "HEY PEOPLE, who here is HORNY? Because I am!" Then I popped off my shirt and waved it around my head while pouring a bottle of baby oil on my naked flesh; all to the crowds roaring approval. Actually, I just stood in the corner and eyed a sweet lighter with HUSTLER printed down the side of it while Jenna was did her best get the crowd amped. 
Things picked up though. As people waited longer in line, their excitement exponentially grew. I cornered a guy waiting to get his DVD signed. Who are you excited about seeing tonight? "Jesse Jane! Because I love her tight butt hole." I slowly backed away from that dude and I came across a nice young lady who was also waiting in line. Who are you excited about meeting tonight? "I really want to meet Jenna Haze and Stoya. They are just so cute and perky; I want to eat them up!"Then I had vision of Jenna and Stoya covered in caramel being eaten by some sort of huge fluffy monster before I got distracted by something shiny out of the corner of my eye.
I waited with the cast to see the reaction of this nice young lady when she did indeed meet Jenna and Stoya. She let out a little squeal as she got to hug the stars of the evening. This warmed my heart and somehow I felt as if I had done a good deed. Even though in actuality I really did nothing at all. Or perhaps I did. Maybe porn stars can bring out the best in some people. Porn stars can make people feel less inhibited and more comfortable with themselves and their bodies. By working in the adult industry and encouraging people to check out porn, I am adding to these life changing occurrences in people's lives.
When I got home, my roommate asked what I had done today.
I looked him straight in the eyes and said: "I changed the world."
To see more of Jesse Jane, Jenna Haze, Stoya, and Riley Steele join HUSTLER.com today!
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